Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize