fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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