i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize