One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
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It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
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I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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