It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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