Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
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I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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