I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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