Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
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I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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