in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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