I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
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We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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