If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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