saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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