Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize