i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you would pick up someone in the library
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
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This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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