I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize