I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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