Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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