Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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