reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize