I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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