Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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