it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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