she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize