so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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