apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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