Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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