I never want to see another naked old woman again.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
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Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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