it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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