4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize