Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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