are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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