I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
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I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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