Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize