I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Randomize