i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
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He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
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Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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