did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
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The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
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Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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