You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
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Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
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It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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