just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
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I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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