Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
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Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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