Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Randomize