Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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