omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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