your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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