there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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