I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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