i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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