he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
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