Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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