Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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