how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
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I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
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This is my gift to your gina
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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